My 2013 story can never be written any better than it started. Last year, I was counting down to midnight to whom I would kiss my boyfriend and when I kissed him, it started snowing. That was the start of an amazing year. I used the snow as a symbolic meaning of a beginning of something good with my relationship. When, in fact, we broke up a few months later. We hugged and kissed that last time in March because we knew that it wouldn’t work out. We were just too different. In that snowfall, I made a resolution that I wouldn’t hold myself back; that I would just go for it. At the time, I didn’t understand officially what that truly meant. All I can say, is that I learned the meaning many months later. In the mean time, school was coming to an end really fast and I got my grades up from the low stand they were at.
Then school ended and I passed all my classes. The first day of summer I went to a “First Day of Summer Party” which consisted of cupcake and water balloon wars. Cupcakes first and water balloons to wash away the frosting. It was also the first day that I started my gardening skills. I focused my activities with work. Only work. I awoke at 6 am to go to work at 6:30 am. I’d work until noon, then work at my other job. I love working. Every hour of every day until almost 10 pm.
Near the end of June, I attended a wedding where I felt that my life was content. Well, I felt content but I knew something was missing. I looked around the chapel and saw a boy my age whose eyes were bright blue. For some reason, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Finally we both attended the reception. I saw him and throughout the entirety of the night we kept making quick glances at each other. I thought more about my year and thought about how crappy it seemed. It wasn’t until 11 pm that I remembered my resolution. “Just go for it.” What did it mean? Why did it have to be those specific four words? How did I even come upon it? I glanced at him and we held eye contact for several seconds. Then I understood. “Just go for it.” Why hold back? Why hide yourself? Why not change the course of the future? I got up and asked him to dance with me. He said yes and I led him to the dance floor. We talked and danced to 80’s music and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Around 11:30, my mother accompanied us with her friend as they were tipsy and danced the running man. I wanted to show off my new move ‘shuffling’. That didn’t go well. I fell on my right foot, hearing a crack and I could feel pain overwhelm my entire calf. About an hour later, I was walked out in a wheelchair of the emergency room with the knowledge that I’d have to stay off my leg for a few weeks.
What am I going to do for three-four weeks?! I can’t not work, but how can I work? I’m a lifeguard and I can’t save anyone if my foot needs healing!! I rested on restless weeks and my anticipation to get off the couch was more than the long hours that dragged. Finally, in the middle of July, I was able to get off but not because my foot healed, I was going to Music Camp. I quickly packed all my clothes, my instrument needs, and brought my notebook full of piano compositions. When I got to Fort Hays State University, I could jump with joy, if not for the gigantic boot on my foot and the crutches I had to use. My siblings and I said goodbye to our parents and we were then left to our own devices. The next day I saw a bass player who also had amazing blue eyes and a huge smile. I kept glancing at him, wondering why I was so intrigued by him. I looked at the ground, seeing my foot, and the resolution came back. “Just go for it.”
Throughout the week, I fell really hard for him. Our personas matched a deep level and then before I knew it, the end of Music camp was here. We said goodbye and tears streamed down my face, having found out that there was no future for us because he had a girlfriend, yet I felt so compelled to know him, see him, maybe talk to him one last time. A few days later, I attended another camp for Journalism and he contacted me; alerting me that he and his girlfriend broke up. That night, there was a dance at the Journalism Camp, I attended, not knowing anyone there very well and sticking out like the loud person in a quite room, or the blue ball in a sea of white balls. I didn’t fit in at all. Later, there was a group of kids dancing and I could resist dancing (even with my boot). The boy was attempting the worm and in my words of assistance, he challenged me to show him how to do it. Kinda rude considering I had a boot, but a smile sat on my face and I laid on the ground, waiting for the beat to drop…Then BAM!! Perfect worms flooded the room and I felt awesome that I could still dance with my boot on. (My foot hurt like crazy the next morning)
Once both camps were over, school started and I was able to take my boot off. (No one at school knew what happened during the summer, thank goodness!!) There was a potential problem. The back to school dance, the “cRave” (Central-school name and Rave combined) was the weekend after school started and I just got out of my boot…If I went to the rave, I could injure it again and result to another few weeks in the boot, kids carrying my books for me, and maybe be on crutches for awhile. I definitely didn’t want that to happen. But, if I didn’t go, I probably would miss something great. This is another great dilemma. That voice in the back of my head though…”Just go for it.” I did and I jumped with the crowd. I was covered in sweat (and not just mine). I took a break and looked around the room. A crowd was formed in a circle, watching a couple people so called Dubstep (dancing). I walked over and watched. All of the sudden, time slowed down to 10 seconds that started the best year of highschool yet.
Second 1: I glance at the dancers.
Second 2: Opening in the crowd of dancers.
Second 3: “Just go for it.” I jump in the center.
Second 4: People are confused as I wait for the beat to drop.
Second 5: The beat drops.
Second 6: I let the music take me.
Second 7: I hear cheering.
Second 8: I smile.
Second 9: The beat lightens.
Second 10: I make an exit.
A lot of people praise me for my Dubstep “I didn’t know you could do that!” Neither did I. Throughout the whole night, I’m dancing and smiling.
Then last night, as we were counting the last moments of 2013, I saw my crush near and I thought about it for a second. That voice wasn’t to be found and as the countdown ended and cheers were thrown in the room, I didn’t have to “Just go for it.” for everything (especially since that was last year’s resolution). But not only that, I realized the true meaning of “Just go for it”:
Experience the moment
I hope that 2014 is just as good, if not better.